BuTteRfLY_PrInCeSs

i know im all crappy when it comes to stuff about love, but now i finally understand when they say The power of LovE… Its power is ever greatest , greater than any power any sorcerer cud ever possess…when u love someone so much, don ever let them go. Don ever hurt the person closest to ur heart coz one day when u loose him, u’ll realise what a great mistake u’ve made and the loss is a perfect one…gone with the wind. I lost someone special and today i think im having the most indescribable feeling a gal cud ever have. All coz of my mistake and i realise that once u’ve found someone who can actually love u for who u are and give u all the care in the world, u’ve got to appreciate it and try ur bestest best to the infinity to cherish a person and make them happy. Well…this is my final distance call…i don believe in long distance relationship coz ur not there to show how much u care.

Every love song has lost its tune somehow…and it seems meaningless. Love songs are for those who are in love and then u can actually relate to it. I cant relate to anything at the moment coz im drowning in my own mistakes. Im human, i make mistakes and a chance is all i need. Have u ever love someone so much that u’ve given all ur heart to and only to find the one, not giving the heart back to you…i understand that a being can be so mad and turn into a different wholesome. And when his heart is on fire, there’s no ice in the Atlantic sea great enough to tame it down.

Cherish ur love ones…u may not realise how important an impact it can be in ur lifetime until u loose him. To find a person who can relate to u isnt as easy as making frenz coz there’s this aura which binds the two. And i’ve been having sleepless nights coz i lost that aura and my yin & yang is imbalance. Im too frightened and scared to the fact that i’ve lost him and knowing there’s no turning back. I’ve been crying and cant seem to face the world, even to the awakening of the sun. I din go to work and have been putting myself at risk to lots of danger. I have poisoned myself , more to my heart coz he’s like my marijuana , my morphine , addicted to him is what i am.

Can u imagine being far away from home and the phone is the only source of contact? And being around people here, the only person i can call for help or spurt out my day’s events is him. And evry night, before i sleep, when i awaken, when i come back from work, its him i talk to. Now, i don have him and i feel like bursting into tears knowin the fact that he’s gone now in my life. i have no one to talk to before i sleep… and no one to talk to about my life in the day i spent. I feel lost. I lost my handphone, now my bf, what next is there to expect? Im slowly loosing my sanity.

Pathetic i know, even feel so now as im all alone in a dark corner of Strabucks writing all my feelings out. Cancer sticks is what i consume now, not food. Coffee is what i drink to keep me alive with its caffiene and sugar to keep my meatbolism going. Appetite …nah…nothing makes my saliva glands active. Feel like a fool… got myself a hair cut…went shopping…drove around…still nothing cures my heartache. SAng my heart out…bought a CD on the songs that he used to sing in K’s but it only made my tears flow willingly. I know there’s no use crying coz when i go to work, it’ll only make my patients loose confidence in me and basically, I SUCK! YOu suck,MEL! A litle sooner, i have to go on Dormicum pills…

Its indeed the worst Christmas of my life and then i donno how to face Kuching when i get back this Saturday. I even risked my patient this morning…by not checking her properly and she went into the Operation theater …then, i almost risked my SALARY cos i dropped the Dinamap Blood pressure machine and it actually bounced when it fell   and it was unable to be used. The blood pressure cuff was still attached to my patients calf when i pulled the bed, the whole machine dropped off a 3 feet shelf! My manager still doesnt know about it but i sent it for repair, hoping the engineering department cud fix it before i have to minus tens of thousands from my salary.

GOd, i need u now…all i can do is pray and hope that someday, a shooting star wud pass and here my calling…my wishes. Is there still hope for me? Damn, and there’s this sweet loving couple showing public affection…its the last thing i need tonight…

Nothing seems sweet now, not even my fav Toffeenut Latte…it tastes bitter, or is my taste buds slowly prevailing me too? My haircut sucks, dyed it a darker color…seems like the whether and JB and the floods represents my tears and stuff that are under those floods represents my drowning soul.

I hate this feeling! Gosh! Help me get over this heartache…

Call me Crazzzyyyyyy but i Support CICAKMAN!!!!

Here’s Why!!!

Aznil Nawawi & MeL …and "caramel pudding Luv"

hahaha…

This goes out specially for one of the biggest AF Fan, FaBiola!

Oooii…i heard there’s a trend goin on in Travillion now ar…Smashin cars to steal bagS! Be on the look out ppl! Oli…careful oooo..

Luv, Mel

!8th Dec…my baby’s Bday…Happy Birthday Dear…I hope u enjoyed ur Bday…and the gifts…tho i doubt u’ll wear em’ haha…you’ll look like the Ghost Rider…

Anyways , i had fun wt u, its our secret…

It was Oli’s bday too…im sorry i cant be there for ur bday…but i reciever the pics of ur gifts with the little miss Kepo inside..

Check this out

My sis’ pressies and the little miss kepo poser

Can u spot me? Im the Princess among all

pick me pick me!

Owh shucks i miss that little one…I miz miz u so much!!!!

Anyways, im still blank about my Xmas events, don think i’ll be heading to Melaka galz, after what happened , im pretty freaked out. Plus i heard Johor is flooded till the brim and news has it that it’ll be headin South of Selangor…i think that;s where i am! Yikes…most prob i’ll juz hang around in malls for Xmas, do my late Xmas shopping…another 8 more days till i’ll be home, heading the streets of Kuching, munching on sio be, Laksa, kolo mee…yumm…im hungry. Don be surprised if i put on much weight, blame the everyday nasi lemak and Penang Fried kuey tiaw…

Juz now i was in Subang Parade, shopping for gifts for tomorrow’s Xmas Pressie Exchange session and as i was at the wrap counter, i saw this middle aged couple, wrapping a whole dozen of gifts and as each gift was beein wrapped, they wrote the names on each gift. And guess what? yeah, u all know im a cry baby rite…I CANT CONTROL my tears..i remember evry Xmas, mom wud go and buy gifts for me and do the same, trying every inch to hide from me…and she hid it well alright. Juz imagining on XmAs day, i;ll be all alone and am without a Xmas Tree even, and even if i had a Xmas tree, they’ll be no pressies under it for me. Sigh, then i imagine my whole family havin Xmas Dinner and opening their gifts after it….well, it jus saddens the heart…i cant put my feelings into words.i juz wan to be back home so badly. And wats bes, even Princess has a gift under the tree for her!! Even Foozie the lazy cat has one too!  Even tho she’s been messing around with the ornaments around the tree Unfair!

Sorry, i’ve been missing in action for quite awhile now…been busy wit lots of stuff, budgeting and planning for lotsa thingy.

Lemme gimme u an update of the recent happenings in my life - which again i’ll always start with the bad stuffS! Ahem, here we go… On one fine sunday,i went shopping in Pyramid…i was in a really gud mood to mod my phone, so i went to this little sticker design shop and chose my phone design for about 1/2 an hour…after much fussing and consideration, i chose a black Gucci design, After 15 mins, i went back for my phone, i was psyched!It looked fab! Classy and beautiful…i was so pleased. I placed my phone back into my hand bag and happily continued my shoppin as it was the SALES! Lotsa shops were awaiting me…hahahah !! Den, i had a movie appointment…so when i wanted to call my fren, i searched thru and thru in my bag! I was Bewildered!!!!! MY PHONE WAS GONE! FCuk whoeva got my phone! I smsed like crazy and called several times and that coward din answer…anyways, who wud…i even offered to give cash in xchange for my phone…but i guess the person is juz a plain cheesy slut who cant afford a phone! Sigh, i was wihout a phone for 2 days!! It was like- my world tumbling down…but not to fret, when there’s a loss, there’ll always be sumtin gained! Got myself a new phone…and im lovin it!

The point is that, i cant believe myself …how cud i not feel tha jack-ass taking my phone, plus my bag was buckled tight by a magnetic seal.So unfair laaaaaa!!! i’ve been always carrying a big bag and i promise myself for this xmas, i wud get myself a smaller hand bag:)

F.L.A.M. - it means For Love and More…a normal hang out place for Bella and I… nice music, nice ambience… quirky guys around… a guy gave her a bunch of Ferrero Rocher with a Teddy stuck in the middle …the best part is, the guy is old enough to be out grandpa-pa… oh, Uncle, ur sooooo sweet, like the chocs…but, ARE you forgetting something???? Like - UR WIFE??!?!?!? Jeesh! Wats up with u uncles?

Anyways, here’s to FLAM!

Cheers Bell, till u come back again from Alaska…Xmas will be dull without you…

I think im really interested in the angel’s realm and tattoos…check this out.

Angels are the guardians of souls and are divine beings but have been shown to be fallible and prone to sin, particularly pride. One of the best known examples of a ‘fallen angel’ is Satan.

The meaning of angels and their appearance have varied throughout history. Artists have depicted angels as winged creatures, usually beautiful figures suffused in light, wearing white robes, floating on a cloud, sometimes in human form or as an angelic ’symphony from the heavens’.

In Catholicism guardian angels are believed to be intelligent spiritual creatures assigned to care for and protect every person on earth. Each person has a guardian angel assigned to them. These angels are to assist the person in attaining his eternal salvation.

Also, these angels protect groups of persons and nations. Others refer to these guardian angels as guiding spirits who control or guide and particularly help in personal safety.

This is one dudette who’s into angels’ wings…check out her bod…i like..

So people…catcha around for the New Year’s Countdown…and mention above wud be a new years’ resolution

Its the sales season finnally! And wen are u gals gonna come and visit me? Anyways, this is the 1st time in my life that i’ll be away from home for Christmas Pretty sad…and im gonna mizz the family dinner and all and the old still-standing Xmas tree which is as old as i am … And the bez part is decorating it together with mom and sis… was chillin at Starbucks 2 days ago and listening to the instrumental Xmas songs really struck me and i was holding back my tears

So, im planning to go uptown, to little old historical Melaka for Xmas, to look for my gals there, and also to do my hair…er,thinkin of waving it, coz not long enough to get curlz…donno if my tauke agrees onot…

Anyways, today’s Fong’s bday, really really wished i cud be there to celebrate ur 21st with u but nah, u don need me babe, u’ve got ur baby close to you and Chris, thanks for making her happy…i know she really is the happiest gal TODAY!

And darn Sam…has the guts to go all the way to MMS me with the new look of Zen, and his pics with AMber Chia and u gals with the actor of Possesed. Hmmm, pretty cute - tats all im gonna say! Too jealous already…

Oli- Show this to mom, i want a Keyboard for my Xmas pressie…i wan the latest Yamaha edition with CD rom wan… puh-leeeeeeeeeeeeeesssss… i’ve been a good gal all year round, unless u wanna get be back to Kuchin, that’ll be the BEZ Xmas pressie EVER!!!! I wan it so i can pass boredom…

All i do most of the time is hang out in Asia Cafe with Bella and the annoying thing is this - Fresh Fruits, Fresh Fruits….the guy pratically walk up to me more than 10 times even when i said , NO No NO!!! Aaarrgh,stop asking!! So far, work has been pleasant these few days, as the freakin’ Doc isnt around when im around! Anyways, plannin to get another tattoo end of the year, a pair of angel’s wings…wanted a Celtic cross but then i tot its a bit disrespectful by placin’ it on my body…er…so the idea is gone… a bar code wud be nice, but i have to crack my head to think of the numberings to go with it.

How bout this? Designed by Kelly Osbourne…but i think the black and white one wud be scrumptious enough

So, wats cool at the moment in Kch? There was the Cleo’s 11th B’day bash, and the upcomin PartyBra Bash, got passes for 2 as well but donno who to bring… i bet lotsa fellas will be there cos the theme, well, its the Party Bra and G-strings wat…well…don tink i’ll be goin cos i don think i can live up to the Theme…unless…the 7 fairies are with me Naughty naughty!

There’s the Rock the World concert, gonna be happening…well…??? I can only SIGH!